+The Mess

I was performing Disney's 'Go the Distance'(I had to wear costume and all that) And I sang the first verse wrong (the lyric didn't even make any sense when I tried to fix it, I hope no one really noticed)

I had to be a butcher in Les Miserable's 'One day more' and you see... earlier that day I had coursework to do (I had to film this guy, long story, irrelevant to this one)there was traffic when I was going home and I needed to make a bloody apron, but when I put paint on it it looked too thick, so I put a bit of water (NB: I was running late, so I rushed)and the paint spread through the whole apron (which was white at first) and it became pink! I don't even have to TRY to be gay, do I? (It comes naturally)

+The Blood

These two boys were running (like most kids do) out into backstage, one tripped and banged his head against the door, he was bleeding A LOT, I was very close to the door, so I went to him, I half-shouted/ half-whispered (honestly I don't really know what it's called) "He's bleeding! He's Bleeding!"

I grabbed the kid's arm and rushed him to one of the women's changing rooms (I knew there was sink there, the first I thought of)) both of us, me and him, washed his forehead (of course by now there were people gathering around, wondering what happened)putting pressure on the wound with a tissue, then a towel (by now there were others helping). Teachers, adults came, gave him some water, I told him to lie down. Kids came and were noisy as expected, they moved him to an air-conditioned room, more water, someone fanning his face, towel on his forehead, mother called, more teachers, more kids.

He didn't cry once.

I remember seeing his scar it looked pretty big (considering his child-sized forehead). I wonder if I did the right thing, grabbing his arm like that, maybe I should have carried him?

The kid was brought out, probably to an ambulance. You know it's stupid, there was a hospital (JPMC) right next to us (JPCC) but we couldn't bring him there because it's closed! (don't they have a freaking ER?!)

I think he's okay, these things happen, I just hate it when it does.

The Rose

A friend Annisa told me she had something special for me after the show. She was giving out roses to 9 people, but forgot to bring the last one...mine.

Oh well, she says sorry and that she'd bring it the next time we meet, but honestly I'm not that bothered, it's the thought that counts, now, if it was money...

This is my last year at this school and I wanted to perform at JIS Idol well. I messed up twice.

I even asked the guy to stop. I should've asked him to play from the second part of the song.

I'm not sure I can do this thing at JPMC I have a solo part and I'm kinda worried, and I don't want to see their damn annoying faces either, I feel like quiting.

My head hurts, my body hurts; it's simply not a good time, but it's too late to give up now.

I hate it when people say I did good when I feel, I know I did really badly. (the second time I went up that stage, I messed it up as well, my voice...it wasn't like I practised and I think I was too fast, I should have sung accapella (sp?)
I suck most when the music is on.

I've dug my own grave here. it's a little too late to get out of things.

Feeling the pressure now definitely. There's not really THAT much for me to do, compared to other people but rather it's just too close together.

And these guys at neoclassic... I know the performance is on Saturday, I know I have to be in JP today and the next and the next till the performance day arrives. But I feel like they're saying "if you don't come on time, then don't come at all" (yes that is how professionals act, I know)but even if I have more free time in school now, the schedual for these rehearsals and my Drama ASA rehearsal, they cross over a bit.

Both teachers in both schools have this expectancy and I hate it when i don't meet them.

And it's annoying, fustrating, when they just look at me.

I really felt like hurting myself last night, but I got so tired, I don't even remember when I slept, the cushions from the living room were in my room that night, I remember sitting on the couch at the entrance, but that's it...maybe I was sleep walking? I don't think I do that though (besides how'd I get up and down the stairs? maybe I was half-asleep when I was doing things? Probably.

My neck hurts like hell today, figures out the JIS Idol on wednesday was NOT the audition, but the semi-finals...this sucks, I need to pay more attention to the bulliten.

If I ever live on my own, I'm gonna need a pet, seriously.

I haven't updated in such a long time.

Well a lot of things have been happening to me obviously, I have completed 2 parts in my fanmovie (did I mention I was making a fanmovie?); it's a fanmovie of clock tower made via the sims2; I'm working on part 3 now ^_^

Game projects progress?

Project Hecka = someone dropped out being too busy, I'm busy as well and I need more motivation.

Jacob 3 = working on walkcycles, I need to shade in the sprites first before my current animator agrees to continue (it's our deal)

The Entity = I am re-doing everything from scratch as there is a better posibility of me completing it via AGS than it is RPG maker.

UPCOMMING

Drama Performances:

12 angry men

SICK (devised piece)

Singing performances

International day

Broadway/Disney special

Oh and I'm re-taking my coursework and this time (it was confirmed) I can DO IT MYSELF!!! YAAAAAAAYZ!!! (so I'll have to concentrate on that definately!).

I don't know what else to say, I'm in school now so I cant link you guys to my movie, but I will when I get home OR you can just make a search for 'Clock Tower: Cut' or horrorvictim or vertigoaddict and you'll get my page where you'll find a playlist.

PS/ I have GREATLY improved since I last made Part 1 and 2, so don't judge me too much on my old work.

My ex wanted us to be together again and I jumped for it...the next day however, he changes his mind.

Says I could do better, says I should meet other people, etc.

I am getting sick of this. It wasn't the dumping that hurt me. It was the fact that he decided it overnight.

This happened 2 times already, both over night.

I'm just sick of it.